Can I get a fan?

My wife and I were in a large chain store some time ago and were looking for some household items. This chain store is not one I usually shop at, but necessity reared its head and I found myself making the suggestion to her about needing to go. To fill in the blanks, it starts with ‘W’ and rhymes with ‘BRAWLMART’. I was looking for a small fan to replace the one on my nightstand, as my current one is beginning to show its age, I have taken it apart several times to fish my wife’s hair out of the motor, but it seems the extra drag has finally started to catch up with it. I use the fan to move a little air and give some white noise at night to aid in sleeping. As usual, in this store that will remain nameless, it is a challenge to find an employee that can assist you. We actually found a guy and asked where the fans were, and he said, “well sir, fans are out of season so we don’t have any in stock right now.” Granted, it was January or February when I was looking, but consider this, I LIVE IN FLORIDA. It is warm ALL THE TIME. Someone, in south Florida, other than me, needs a fan and one of the largest retail stores in the world doesn’t have them in a tropical climate, because they are out of season. Although I can see the sense this makes from a business standpoint, I can also see the absurdness from a consumer’s standpoint. Needless to say, I did not get a new fan that day and when I got home, I fixed the old one anyhow. In case you are looking, Wallyworld has no fans in winter months.

I am pretty sure that driver’s training classes in Florida and the upper east coast do not have the students pay attention to the part where they explain protocol for a yield sign. Or maybe back in the 30′s when half of these people got their license, yield signs did not exist. I wish I was driving a beater. I’d show ‘em why the sign is there and what it means. “Oh, I am so sorry you drove your $60,000 Mercedes convertible into my ’87 Celebrity station wagon because you were not looking for right-of-way traffic.”

I have not had a day off since Moby Dick was a Minnow. At least it seems that way. Friday can’t come soon enough.

That is about all I have right now. It is getting late and I did not write down any of the genius that I was thinking earlier so this has turned into a short post. I said earlier that I am working on something a bit more substantial. I am, so stay tuned.

Ben

ben

Signing off.

Ben

The snowbirds are here in south Florida. I can tell by how pissed off I am at the end of my commute home… ARGH. If another bastard old man in a Mercedes tries to run me off the road, I just might lose it.

Several signs you are not as young as you used to be:

You buy beer at a place you have never been and they don’t ask you for I.D.

You prefer talk radio to music radio, more often than not.

You ask someone to turn the radio down because the constant droning of the bass chisels into your head like a railroad spike.

You grow out your goatee to show you’re youthful and edgy side but when looking in the mirror you realize that the increasing number of grays mixed in kind of takes a little of that youthful edginess away. Or all of it.

You say things that you have heard your parents say.

You wake up in the morning and you hurt. For no reason.

You have random isolated pain that lasts for a minute or two then disappears. For no reason.

The two day hangover.

You take maintenance medication.

Other randomness:

There comes a time when married couples decide to have kids. Now is not the time. I am getting closer to letting my wife talk me into another dog though.

Other people’s kids are the best birth control.

There comes a time in your life when you realize that you will never be a race car driver or a pro athlete. I think I am almost there.

Oh and I quit smoking. Months ago.

Ben

There is a reason for my post today. It is a radio. A radio that you put in the shower. Bless her heart, my wife found one on sale and picked it up. When it catches my sleepy eye in the morning, I will turn it on while I am showering. Oddly enough, it only gets one channel and whenever I turn it on, there is the same song that is either playing, or it comes on during my shower. It is “teenage dream”. This little ear nugget has been bouncing in my head all day. I can’t get it out. I have tried singing other songs. I have tried singing other equally annoying songs hoping that one of them would mine into my brain and displace this train wreck of a song and all attempts have failed. I blame this on the radio, check that, the radio station that I am confined to in the morning. You see, my radio tastes have changed. I rarely listen to music radio anymore. I am convinced that the conversion from music radio to talk radio is a sign of getting older. I am also convinced that radio stations like the one I am stuck with in the shower each morning are also to blame. Heavy rotation songs with catchy hooks and no substance are the culprits as well. Radio killed the radio. I prefer cd’s but today, I wanted to give radio a chance to redeem itself. Thank goodness for the Buzz. Restoring the faith one good song at a time.

Speaking of cd’s. I went into a large electronics retailer recently with my wife to look for a couple cd’s. Yes, I actually still buy the pesky things from time to time. What did we find when we got there I ask you? Very few cd’s. It seems as if the digital revolution has put a dent in physical retail profit margins so it no longer makes sense to hold inventory of cd’s when most people will buy the music digitally. I have 3500+ songs on this very computer but I assure you, most of that music came from a good old compact disc that I drove to a big box electronics retailer with a blue and yellow sign over the door. After today, I won’t look for my music there anymore.

I really need to start writing things down. I had much more to talk about and seem to have forgotten. Until it comes back, thanks for reading and good night.

Ben

Bp Oil Spill

Pay attention ladies and gentleman. This is one of, if not the largest ecological disaster in the history of man. Chernobyl and three mile island nuke plants were massive. The exxon Valdez spill was massive. This fiasco however, makes massive look minuscule. Being a south Florida resident, it is only a matter of time before that oil makes it to the northwest coast of the state and starts wreaking havoc on the ecosystem as it has been starting to along the Gulf coast. The everglades cover most of the southwest portion of the state and for years has been recovering from contamination from over use of pesticides. The everglades are a fragile ecosystem that will undoubtedly suffer greatly if covered in crude oil from this spill. The Dry Tortugas are a small chain of islands west of the Florida Keys that are at risk as are the Keys themselves. There is also a risk that this crude could get into the Gulf Loop current that connects to the Gulf Stream and if it turns into the Atlantic, there is a possibility that the after effect of this disaster could have a much larger footprint than just the Gulf and the Gulf coast states and communities. After several attempts to stop the leaking oil, BP is still trying, more than a month after the drilling platform sank. In the disaster, 11 employees lost their lives. Unfortunately I don’t know how to stop an oil leak where the source is more than a mile under the surface of the ocean. It appears that BP hasn’t any idea either. I sure hope they can come up with something soon.

My second topic is Armando Galarraga. How he did not blow a head gasket is beyond me. One out away from a perfect game. A milestone so rare that no one in Detroit Tigers history has accomplished it. A milestone so rare that the pitchers who have thrown perfect games go down in history. A milestone not reached due to a bad call from Umpire Jim Joyce. Under reply, it is painfully clear that the base runner is out by at least one step. A no brainer call that was botched. I can say with complete confidence that I would not have been as composed and courteous as Galarraga was post game. He makes valid points though. We are human and by nature we make mistakes. Even things that we do repetitively, we are prone to make a mistake now and again. Jim Joyce knows he made a mistake and a big one at that. I would like to think that his tears when taking the field today were genuine. Bud Selig, baseball’s commissioner has decided to let the call stand and not overturn it. I am really on the fence about this but I think that he is making the right call. Baseball, and any sport for that matter needs to have the human element where officials make mistakes. I umpired little league when I was younger and before you say it, Major League Baseball and Little League baseball are completely different but tell that to the coach who’s kid was called out when it is clear that he was safe. I have made plenty of mistakes umpiring. I don’t think that I support instant replay. At least not for regular season games, but the playoffs I can see the need and think that every sport should have it for those circumstances.

That is all….

Oh, except is Clay Aiken really that talented?

This is Ben.. Signing off.

The purpose of this blog is not to preach about the holiday season, rather to piss and moan about several things. As I sit here at work, with a lull in customer traffic, I read some headlines on major news websites and found this gem.

There is a woman in England who swears she won’t stop having children until she has twins. Her family is receiving $7000 per month in tax credits and Government assistance.
If I were an English taxpayer, I would demand the government step in to stop this woman on her “quest”. My god lady, you have 13 kids with a 14th on the way and want to have another go for twins. Maybe she wants a crummy reality show on English television.

Here is another one that irks me. Adam Lambert. On the web, on the radio, on Tv, the question is posed, “did he go too far with his performance and the AMA award show?” I know, I am actually helping the situation a little with this reference by giving him one more dot of exposure on the web for his performance and taking his 15 minutes a bit further into the future. I have two problems with this whole situation. First is that Adam Lambert did not win “American Idol”. He was the runner up, which as an athlete, means you lose. Why is he performing on the AMA award show anyhow? Apparently there are different standards for questionably talented musical artists. The second issue I have with this is the whole awards scene anyhow. Almost any given weekend you will see an award show for celebrities on TV. You can win an award for damned near anything these days. Where is the nationally televised award show for the EMT that saved someone’s life? Where is the award show for the man that figured out and fixed a longstanding problem on you car? Where is the award show for the lady that will spend her Thanksgiving at the local food shelter handing out dinners to homeless people, making them feel, just for one day, that they actually mean shit to someone? Where are the award shows for people that actually do stuff? I don’t want an award for myself, I am not that deserving seeing how most of my days and dollars are spent in self preservation mode, but come on.

One last one for you all to wrap your brains around. I am a little disgusted with how much earlier Christmas comes each year. Soon, the term “Christmas in July” will be actually true. And soon thereafter, your neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year will not seem so silly afterall. Being a Michigan Native, transplanted to Florida, the holiday season is a a little tough for a couple reasons. I live 1600 miles away from my family which makes me miss them and it does not really get cold in Florida. In Michigan, you have the summer turn to fall, the leaves change colors the temperatures start to fall and then the snow comes. It is a natural progression to Christmas up there. Here, the only thing that indicates the holidays are near are a minor cold spell here and there, an influx of seasonal residents on the roads and Christmas music in the bank on November 23rd. The tents for live Christmas trees are starting to pop up everywhere, the local communities are starting to put up the decorations and every store with something to sell gears up for the rush of holiday shoppers. Being a former retail employee, I still have a mild distaste for the holidays. Not the holidays themselves, but the holiday shoppers that are often rude and nasty to store employees. Be nice to the person helping you get the gadget you think your Uncle Morty needs this year or that same person you pissed on because you are impatient may be writing a blog about you someday. Seasons greetings.

I know that this blog page has been a little vacant lately. I just have not had that much to say lately. I tend to let the ideas and rants build up until one day, they all come out. Besides, my life is not that interesting to update daily.

Signing off.

Ben